With My Right Hand High I Must Testify

Caution: the following is very personal information and used for the sake of testimony only.
Today I had to take a really big step toward solidifying my new future. I had to confirm bankruptcy in a federal hearing in front of thirty other fear-struck adults. This is going to change my educational timeline, the process I run my business through, and something I will be held to for many years. However I could not feel more delivered.

As I entered the court room I took a look around at many other people just like me. You could see the hurt, disappointment, and shame all over their faces. I smiled and said
hello to one lady but she turned away in embarrassment. I thought to myself, gee why are these people so upset?

Then it hit me why I wasn’t.

Two years ago, I left a hell behind that at times was so painful it was indescribable. One day I impulsively packed all of my things in a u-haul, bought a home I wasn’t emotionally or financially prepared for, and started life over in a matter of days. I never thoroughly processed my own decision, I just moved. One of the main reasons I stayed so long in my former prison was due to coming from childhood poverty, I had convinced myself at least I never had to worry about food or lights again, just at the cost of freedom and sanity.

I stepped out on faith but without any good deeds or intention whatsoever. I was selfish in all of my decisions and actions. I am a workaholic so I can’t say I was ever lazy but I became very self-serving and even stopped attending church to avoid my own guilt.
God physically had saved me just a few months before I moved and I took every bit of it to my own advantage.
I got myself in a heap of trouble and walked away from really good paying jobs out of pure irresponsibility and childishness. God blessed me with the ownership of my home and a great paying job and I repaid him by leaving my religion altogether and drinking so much I couldn’t even remember going out.

As life seemed to just grow darker and darker I really started to resent God for having saved me only to bring me to an even worse hell. I surrounded myself with people who affirmed I had lost my mind and we would compare battle wounds instead of doing anything to give God glory that we were still standing.
I was living completely on the edge of the unknown and uncertain. I was so lost and bitter, I’d literally pray, “Okay God thanks a lot for the freedom but how am I supposed to eat today?”

As my world was rapidly crashing in, I realized how prideful I had been. I looked back just a year into my own history and couldn’t even remember half the places I had been or people I had around me. One might say I was just healing from severe trauma but I know the truth.
I was self-medicating through alcoholism and point blank searing my own conscience with each passing day.
I knew I needed genuine change but the burden had just gotten too heavy and the sin far too thick for me to trust God to get me out.
Then one day I had another scare. One so bad I landed in the emergency room and I knew when the doctor used the words, “this is inexplainable” that God was telling me wake up.

I decided to quit accepting my losses and started seeking my promised prosperity. It took some serious soul searching and a lot of growing pains but God effortlessly made a way for me daily.

I stopped praying out of resentment and started praying out of gratitude. God informed me of the many messes I had made but he also told me he already put a plan in place if I’d just simply behave this time and follow his lead instead of forcing my own. It has taken me almost a year from that point to get to my present humble state of mind. Nevertheless he still welcomed me at the altar with open arms and harps playing gracefully!

So I walked in this morning to the courtroom with pure peace and acceptance. Satan has attempted to remind me for many months of my failures but God stomped him back to where he belonged and covered me with his love.

As the hearing began, I whispered to God thank you for bringing me this far. The trustee’s appointed attorney began to read the list of losses I was soon to face and I just smiled. You could tell she was puzzled by my calmness as she mentioned my Audi being surrendered. If you know me at all, I used to Sell for Audi and I am 100% an AudiGirl!
But all I could really think was man is God going to use this in some great way one soon day!!!

I’m not condoning bankruptcy because it really should be a last resort. Which it was for me because otherwise I was going to be homeless. But by God’s grace I get to keep my home and my businesses and honestly nothing else matters to me, my God is my treasure. It is going to take me a few extra years to finish my degree now but I’m educationally grounded because my God is my Professor. People may look at me, say I’m a mess, crazy, or confused but guess what my God is my Healer! My Protector! My Provider! And My Friend!
He’s all I need now and til the end!

I’m sharing this for one reason only.
Someone is having a bad day.
Someone is having a bad year.
Someone doesn’t see a way out.
Someone feels like giving up.
Someone has lost their faith.

I could have waited to put this in my book, I might share it there too. I could have waited to share this when SU is a world renowned ministry, as God told my mom and I both in a dream.
But I wanted to share it now. I want people to see me in my trenches so you can physically and spiritually watch my God lift me up and out!!!!!
No matter what storm you face, God says seek him in all we do and we will find him!
(Jeremiah 29:13)

Be encouraged! Be blessed! Be thankful! Be HIS!! πŸ™πŸΌπŸ’œ

If this touched you in anyway, please share! Help me keep hope alive! Help me unchain the silence of many beautiful souls!
He loves you and before I go just know….

We can do all things through Christ who gives us strength! (Philippians 4:13)

Copyright Β© 2017 Silence Unchained. All rights reserved

πŸ™πŸΌπŸ’œπŸ™ŒπŸΌ #SilenceUnchained #ComingSoon

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Covered by the Blood

Good morning world! πŸ™‹πŸ»πŸŒŽ
I know some of you think I’m crazy. It’s cool. Maybe I am. πŸ˜‰ Lol But GP got me and I’m crazy for Jesus! πŸ™ŒπŸΌπŸ™ŒπŸΌ So we all good over here! πŸ˜‡πŸ™πŸΌ

Last night after I shared my live testimony, I drove for Uber a few more hours. Each person I took home we talked about God. πŸ™πŸΌ
I invited them to church. ❀
Some opened up to me about things I definitely didn’t expect.
I was playing my usual Gospel tunes (huge change in pace from the bumping club music) and I had one guy ask me to turn it up.
He told me it had been a while since he and God talked.
Four people I took home rode right past my home church with me.
If you told me even a year ago that I would be driving an Uber to keep food on my table, I might have laughed at you.
I drive an Audi and my clients and
I laugh all the time, because as a former Audi Saleswoman it is not common to see a luxury car in a taxi service. But it gives me a place to share Jesus.
God told me he was going to use EVERYTHING in my life for him as long as I let him. And I see it daily! I’m shameless because God accepts me even when no one else does. And he accepts you too, no cost is too great for God to restore you. If you ask God to use you he will use you! In everything and everywhere! πŸ’œπŸ™πŸΌ

Driving for Uber got me off the streets of drinking and partying myself.
Uber has put me right in the line of fire of where many people run to when they are abused or damaged. I’m so blessed to be able to do this and thank you for those of you praying for me since the gun was pulled out on me a few weeks back. I’ve had a few people ask me what on earth am I doing and that I shouldn’t be out at 3am. But trust and believe God is with me. And I’m racking up souls for the kingdom. I ain’t worried about nothing or no one else. Even when I don’t have to I will probably still do this til God calls me elsewhere.

When I got home last night and went to sleep, I heard a loud scream and saw a vision of a snake next to me. It was not to be taken lightly. The scream told me to take down my testimony. It cursed at me. I rebuked it in Jesus name and went back to sleep in peace.
Just because I’m freed from my past does not mean the devil won’t still try to tempt or threaten me. But he can’t have me! I’m saved and covered by the blood! If you don’t know what that means message me. I’ll gladly explain.

Part of me felt maybe I should remove my testimony to protect my own identity and safety. But I can’t. I know it’s not for all of you. But some of you need it. I needed it so I could help others do their own.
I didn’t share everything. I shared what I felt God put on my heart to. Some things don’t need repeating and I’m only allowing myself to speak light and prosperity in this season. If you’ve been abused and want to talk one on one, please contact me. CatCares@SilenceUnchained.com

I’m not a very emotional person. I spend 99% of my time with a straight face. But I want you to see me in my vulnerable stage not just when I’m years removed from pain. God said let them see your hurt so I can show them your joy!
I want you to watch me fight to make it and witness God literally holding my hand up this mountain. I could have waited til I had my life in a more stable place. In fact, my mentor and friends told me to. But God told me GO.

I’m sharing because I’m not alone. I know others have been through this and will go through this. I want to comfort you because it’s through Christ I am comforted. No one and nothing else holds me down like my faith. And if I die tmrw I want my life and my timeline to reflect his light.

Thank you for your encouragement.
Be blessed and know we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength! Thank you for traveling this journey with me! πŸ’œπŸ™πŸΌ

No weapon formed against me or you shall prosper!!! #Isaiah5417
#Phil413 #SilenceUnchained

Copyright Β© 2017 Silence Unchained. All rights reserved

Sticking To Your Standards

I know everyone has been through breakups but this one is specifically for my ladies who have faced heartbreak or are fighting it now and keep trying to find a reason to let him back in.

I’ve had too many women cry on my shoulder. I’ve cried on far too many others.

I spent the last six months in physical solitude and plan to continue to because it turns out I actually love just being with me. Hence, my “in the relationship” status on FB and I encourage that for so many of you hurting because it’s truly how you recover any breakup. You need ALONE time. Not I have this friend time. But ALONE time!

God simply can’t reach you if you rush off to put your heart in someone else’s hands after tearing away from someone you once were involved with. (I’ll save the intimacy talk for another day).

We allow ourselves to run back to people we “love” and ignore the fact they hurt us over and over again.
Each time we stay it gets harder to walk away. Each time the soulties become that much stronger and the bonds are that much harder to break.

Breakups are hard for anyone but I can certainly attest to the people who come from broken homes it’s even harder for us, because we rely on our conscience and experience to tell us wrong from right. Unfortunately much of that is made up in our own head or found in “How To” sections at bookstores.

You have to train yourself to behave differently than you are used to. You wouldn’t believe the measures it took for me to convince myself to walk away from seven years of habitual chaos. I’m talking every 30 minute reminders not to talk to him. Notes that auto emailed to remind me why I needed to stay angry. And of course prayer almost every second of the day for the last year certainly opened my eyes and heart to the reality of how much toxin I had been surrounded by for so long.

I might sound crazy but it worked.
I’m happy to tell you one thing I do know about myself now is I will literally do whatever it takes to get myself to a better place!

I went without financial stability, physical comfort, emotional support, even allowed myself to be completely miserable in my own thoughts until God renewed my mind and spirit to seek only him.

Sometimes it’s just what you have to do to teach yourself how muchΒ greatness you truly deserve.
No matter how hard it is or alone you might feel, don’t cave.
Don’t accept less than you deserve.
You deserve to be his ONLY woman. You deserve to be with someone who won’t abuse you in any fashion.
No Excuse! No Exception!
STOP ALL THIS FWB crap! Quit bragging about being his Main Chick! You were not born to be someone’s baby mama! And if you are then be the mother of your child and not the side piece of your donor!

We the people with our ridiculous emotional “needs” and sexual desires are killing what God created LOVE to be!!
Who cares what society allows as the norm now?! Don’t bow down to rules you don’t agree with!
No matter how “good” he is to you, regardless what he provides for you, who cares how awesome of a dad he might be?!
If he can’t commit to you and be true to you then he isn’t good for you! And he won’t teach your child the importance of commitment either!

Those that have mustered up the courage to walk away just know, you’re not alone in how you feel. And you won’t be alone forever. God rewards obedience. Given that your body is a temple it is OBEDIENT to demand respect for yourself!

At times it seems like others could get away with murder and yet you’re feeling punished for doing what seems like the right thing. This is so far from the truth!
Don’t let the devil convince you to compromise.
You know why you have the standards you do. You know why you walked away or won’t let someone back around.
Do. Not. Give. In.
God is going to bless you with someone so much better.
I’m thankful for learning such a hard lesson as young as I did.

Even if I’m married with children someday, God forbid anything bad happen, but the minute it could- I won’t fear financial instability. I won’t question my comfort. I won’t look around for ways to cover up the mess my partner made. I won’t lie to myself! I vow to myself now and forever to stand up and walk out that door. He can take his issues up with God.
Because Jesus is the only man I will ever NEED! Anyone else will knowto earn and maintain their place in my heart!

Let this empower you to use the strength and courage already within you and get the love and respect you deserve. Be blessed.

Copyright Β© 2016 Silence Unchained. All rights reserved

Self Awareness

Many of you know I have been writing a self-help book. The development process has been a trial almost as difficult as the life it is about. Nothing worth having comes cheap. Nothing worth keeping is easy.
Wisdom.

I’ve had to study myself and others in ways I never really cared to be made aware of.
Acceptance.

One thing I have learned that many others already knew is I don’t love or trust easily. I get close to very few people. In fact, some of you still tease me when you reach for me and I say I don’t like to hug. Or I sit from across a room while we hang out. Lol.
I’m working on that by the way. The germs are worth the comfort. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‰
Compassion.

I still struggle to allow myself to grow attached or comfortable with things, situations or relationships.
Every time in my life that I have allowed my guard down, or someone close to me, its gone bad or been used against me. I’m optimistic it won’t stay that way. Though, I know thousands can relate. It’s just a part of life.
Faithful.

Being strong and positive doesn’t mean things don’t go wrong. It means faking a smile when you have to and moving forward, whatever it takes. You’re not always strong for you. Many times you’re strong for your surroundings.
Resilience.

I was once so cold and unavailable that God has humbly taught me to allow myself to be vulnerable and supportive of a hurting world. He also taught me there are many people unsaved hurting worse than I ever have.
Humility.

He has spoken to me and said, If they see you making it, they will believe they can too.
Hope.

Shout out to the friends and family that get me. Some of you have weathered many storms with me.
It’s because of you, that God keeps giving people like me hope. It’s because of you that I’m blessed to carry any burdens for the world at all.
It’s because of you that I get up and try again.
It’s because of you I am still here.
Gratitude.

I may not come around much or say it to you enough, but I closely watch everything and your life is a beautiful representation of love and respect.
I’m thankful to be your witness.
I appreciate you.
Blessed.

Merry Christmas.
β€πŸŽ„πŸ˜
#Phil413 #Prov423 #confessions #love #hope #faith #testimony #family #friendships
#SilenceUnchained

Copyright Β© 2016 Silence Unchained. All rights reserved

πŸŽ„Christmas and holidays are a time of laughter and good cheer. However for people who fight depression it is a time to hide and live in self fear.

πŸ˜’ πŸ’”Money shortage, family losses, broken hearts, addictions and self-unacceptance are all real obstacles to have to overcome.
While some people love and live for a time to gather around a fire, unwrap gifts under a tree and share eggnog, others struggle immensely to get out of bed and carry through another relentless seasonal gathering. πŸŽ„πŸ”₯🎁
Many fight having to see relatives. Some try to hide their misery behind material things. Few we would never know how hurt they truly are inside.

Fortunately we don’t all suffer with depression or feeling lost. However, I have had quite a few people fighting with depression contact me the last few days. I have seen many posts of sadness and depression as well. My eyes and ears are always open to it because I know the feeling of being lost and confused all too well.
As a survivor it is my duty to live to encourage you.

I am not a doctor or a minister (yet) but I can assure you if you wrap yourself in Christ no problem seems too big.
No drug, drink, thing, or being will do for you what He can do.
All I can speak from is my own personal experiences and every time I felt at my lowest, God came through and took me to my highest!
When I was suicidal, living with someone who sought to harm me, medically and mentally ill, God spoke to me with a plan of redemption. Addicted to alcohol, God pulled me up and spoke a different plan into my life.
πŸ™πŸΌπŸ’ͺπŸΌβ€πŸ™πŸΌπŸ’ͺπŸΌβ€πŸ™πŸΌπŸ’ͺ🏼
I’m no one special. He will do it for anyone. I just happened to listen to Him. He delivered me. It’s as simple as that. Doctors told me I would need medication for life. God intervened and said, “You need me, and that is all you will EVER need.”

Christmas is about the birth of Christ so OF COURSE the enemy wants you distracted from the nurturing of any good spirit.
Never give up hope! The enemy seeks to devour and destroy. If you hear a voice of inadequacy or rejection, know that God will never speak to you that way and shut it out.

I still struggle, we all do, but I stay close to his word and surround myself with good people. That’s how you fight darkness, you find light and surround yourself with it to a point that negativity can’t stand to be in your presence.
πŸ’‘πŸ’‘πŸ’‘πŸ’‘
The enemy must flee when you speak Christ’s name! (James 4:7)
Make your pain uncomfortable!
Speak victory over your sadness!
You deserve peace!!!
Don’t confuse peace with problem-free either. Peace is knowing even in the storm God still has you. There will always be battles, the peace is in knowing you don’t have to fight them alone!
πŸ’ͺπŸΌπŸ™πŸΌπŸ†
Don’t be afraid to ask for help! God says we are here to encourage one another. (1st Thessalonians 5:11)
But most importantly seek Christ! πŸŽšπŸ“–
No matter your situation, you can heal if only you grant yourself the choice to do so.
God wants good for you so want better for you too!
Be blessed and Merry Christmas!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

Give yourself the gift of cheer!

BE MERRY!
I believe in you and He does too!!! πŸŽ„β€πŸ™πŸΌ
Feel free to share this with anyone and especially those hurting this season.

_bCat

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#Phil413 #Psalm147 #MerryChristmas
#SilenceUnchained

Copyright Β© 2016 Silence Unchained. All rights reserved

Wait on Real Love

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I’ve dated a few times, but for the most part I’ve sat back and observed to see who I wanted longterm.
When I was 15, God spoke to me at the altar. He told me I would be chosen for a ministry of love.
I left my church afraid of that message and rebelled for years. Had no idea what He was talking about until about a year and half ago.
In my time away, He taught me involving yourself with an indecisive man is far worst than being alone.
Don’t waste your time with someone who doesn’t choose you without doubt.
Regardless what media influences or dating blogs say, you don’t have to trick a man into falling for you.
Believe me they will circle back to you in time. You need to be strong enough to tell them to get lost.
The person for you is for you. God won’t send you someone confused about whether or not they love you.
True love will never confuse you.
Trust me.
You will want who God sends.
Not who you pick.
Teach yourself patience.
Be blessed.
#Eph5 #1stCorinthians13 #mypainyourgain #thewait #truelove #love #waitonlove

Copyright Β© 2016 Silence Unchained. All rights reserved

 

Political Line in the Sand

I woke up to messages that people were praying I’d learn to be more open minded on my religious views. Especially as a public writer.
Many were angry at me for the turn of the election.
One openly shared that hopefully I’d learn to understand political views are much greater than religion.
My friend count and likes on my business pages decreased quite a bit last night.
I will not back down.

It’s my duty as a Christian to stand firm even when alone and let you know that the mindset of “your state is bigger than your God” is what got us all where we are.
I’ve pondered in the past leaving God out of relationships, businesses, school, and politics. Look what it got me.
Jesus says, “Ignore me before others and I will ignore you before the Father.” Matthew 10:33

I don’t claim to always live right but I do know I’ve never been able to choose where I take my God.
There are consequences in our actions.
He is omnipresent, omniscient, omnipotent and to think he isn’t in politics is truly a closed mind. He was present EVERYWHERE last night as was satan!!

He tells us to obey the laws of the land. Why do you think Christians stand so strong in trying to protect their laws?

I respect that my non-believing friends don’t believe this way.
My Christian friends, WE know better.

Separation of Church and State was formed to protect us from the state changing our doctrinal law.
Not to exclude God whom in the present moment is still in the constitution. Keep pushing him out though. See what it gets you.
Don’t be blasting publicly that is why you don’t bring God into politics that is a fool’s talk.
Educate yourself if you are going to openly claim your religion and speak on politics.

Just want you all to know as a Christian public sexual and domestic violence activist and growing speaker I stand FIRM in my beliefs against abortion.
I’m going to do what it takes as a conservative American and fight for the rights of the unborn child.
I’m not sorry for whom that offends. I can’t please everyone.
Life is bigger than your argument on Facebook.
All of those proposed changes you voted for your family last night, go fight and take a stand!
Don’t wait until 2020 to start saying you’re going to make a difference. Let that anger drive you to make a positive one now.

Things don’t happen overnight and they won’t just happen because your party wins or loses.

I’m not changing for your vote or your like. I know I’m going to be widely hated moving forward.
Probably need some new friends anyway.
Thank you for those of you that respect our differences.
Thank you for those that also respect my stance on Black Lives Matters.

These are the two most important topics in my life that I’ve ever publicly stood for and lost business from and unfortunately last night I was slandered for standing for both.

It’s okay though. Because every person who claimed I was supporting racism with my vote knows you can call me any day or night and I will still be there for you. I don’t take it personally.

I hope I can be a political and religious wakeup call to my friends.

It doesn’t just take voting one party to create equality of anyone’s lives.

Do not just take a seat for what you believe. Pray to God. Put Him first.

Delight yourself in HIM and He will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4

Now is not the time for any of us to feel sorry for ourselves. Now is the time to stand the global test of faith.

I’d rather you not like me for where I stand than love me for someone I am not.

Be blessed.

Copyright Β© 2016 Silence Unchained. All rights reserved

Don’t Give Up On Love

IMG_0088.JPGFor all the women and men considering giving up on love. DONT.
What life has taught me is, while I’ve been in love a few times, those men were NOT in love with me. We can’t always control who we fall in love with. But we can control what actions we take and how close we get to someone who doesn’t feel or treat us the same.

Don’t allow yourself to have a cold shoulder or become bitter toward another man, that really could fall in love, just because you’ve been burned.

It’s a blessing to fall in love with someone that isn’t in love with you in return. It’s a hard lesson but you learn to love yourself in a way that you will never settle for less again. So don’t be angry anymore. Don’t feel used. Feel gifted. You found love for yourself without someone’s help. And you know what it’s like to love someone else.

Keep your head up. Stay encouraged. And be selective with your heart. Cut ties. Block numbers. Be your own friend. But do not stay in love where it isn’t returned. Do not look for a rebound or revenge. That’s not how you heal.
You deserve better than that. Love isn’t ugly. Love doesn’t lie. Love won’t hurt you. Love isn’t going to play with your feelings. Love isn’t going to choose someone else over you.
So don’t become disgusted with what you feel love is just because of what someone in your past showed you.

PS I genuinely love you. That’s why I’m willing to expose myself and my story just to teach a world of hurting souls how to love.
Because I had to learn from my own broken heart. Be blessed. Spread hope. Share love.

#SilenceUnchained

Copyright Β© 2016 Silence Unchained. All rights reserved

The Hardest Confession

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The hardest part about this campaign for me, is not admitting to the world I was abused.
I spent years conditioning myself to believe I could take pain. Of all kinds.
Many of us do this.
Emotionally, physically, verbally, mentally, psychologically, and even spiritually I found ways to convince myself daily that it was better for me to endure than someone else. I was “strong.” I was “selfless.”
The part of this confession I still struggle to accept is that the people who hurt me are in fact “abusers.” I was also a self-abuser. I had to be freed from myself.

Regardless what I told myself or you tell yourself – the fact remains they are abusers. You have been abused. They abused you. You abused you by staying and believing the things you were told.Β And it won’t just go away. You have to let them go. You have to let your attachment to good memories and good times go.
I pray to never be in an abusive situation again, however it requires me to stay aware, have trusted accountability, and pray daily to make better decisions. It has changed everything about my life as I knew it to be.

This isn’t something you step away from and don’t touch ever again. That won’t break your cycle. The cycle is broken through implementing habitual life changes and surrounding yourself with healthy people. Daily prayer.

That is what the awareness is about. Leaving is sadly sometimes the easy part. It’s staying away from that life is what breaking an addiction feels like.

I hope this message reaches a person’s heart. Just because we can survive it doesn’t mean we deserve to go through it. Just because God will bring us through it, doesn’t mean we have to drag ourselves into it.
There are always signs. Do not ignore red flags.
This is why you MUST fill yourself up with goodness. This is why you MUST guard your heart. It determines the path of your life. (Proverbs 4:23)
I was loyal to a fault. I still am. I never want to make the person out I loved more than anyone to be a monster. My ex- best friend, the man I was preparing to marry, wanted to hurt me and I have to accept that. That is how I heal. And that is how you will too.

_bCat

Copyright Β© 2016 Silence Unchained. All rights reserved

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