I feel for the time you accept you were not enough.
It’s so hard to think someone you love
Would want to give up.
You spend your entire life cleaning their mess.
Just to feel like you’re dreaming
Your way out of stress.
You will give anything for a happy ending
And your loved one doesn’t even know who they were from the beginning.
Perhaps if you find the perfect words to say, they would listen.
Perhaps if you go to that special place they would pay attention.
They cry no one understands but everyone hurts when they hurt.
The dark cloud that hovers them haunts their fears like a box in the dirt.
It is so hard to witness day after day,
a person turn to a substance instead of trying to pray.
If only they could love you so much they want to seek help.
If only they would go to church. If only your love was something they felt.
Don’t be so hard on yourself.
They hardly even know the cards they were dealt.
“They are such a good person and have a great heart.”
Is that why they don’t even realize how long you’ve been apart?
You live in a constant wonderland waiting for them to arrive.
Fantasizing that day they say “I’ll give rehab a try.”
You’re so hopeful about tomorrow you don’t recognize today.
They can’t even stand on their own, so you carry them to make them stay.
They have stolen from you, lied, cheated, and abused.
And you forgive them again to leave your heart open for use.
A drug is their prayer. A drink is their muse.
It is time for you to stop letting their addiction choose.
You want to walk away, you are so tired of the lies.
Your person keeps deserting but you never leave their side.
You have every excuse you could possibly use.
But one thought you still seem to refuse.
So many unresolved answers. So many unturned leaves.
While you’re dying to fix them, have you ever asked “what about me?”
Why don’t you love yourself to want more than this?
Why do you let another determine how you define happiness?
I know it is hard. Definitely not fun.
But it is time to say your job is done.
You can’t save them. They must want to be free.
So until that day comes, let go. Let God. And let them be.
If my lost loved ones bother to read this, I forgive you. But it’s time to get help.
I’m tired of being quiet while you avoid your own health.