Don’t Party Your Kid’s Childhood Away

We all need to pay closer attention to where we spend our time. We all are guilty of too much social media, too much partying, too much fantasy football. Anything to run away from our adulthood reality.

Though there is much to improve, one thing that hits me personally, is people seem to share pic after pic of them at bars and drinking with friends more than I ever see them share pics with their family.

Maybe they just don’t post their family pics. Maybe I’m just biased because of my upbringing.

If you’re a man do you count on your wife/gf/fiancé to hold down the house and kids while you do you with the fellas? If you’re a woman do you enjoy taking more pics of pina coladas and wine glasses than your kid playing with their toys?

What we choose to capture, does matter.

I know it’s just social media but most of the things I post are so my kids and I can look back and see it one day, given this is our generation’s primary way of sharing culture. I don’t know too many folks with Polaroids anymore. Social media is like a digital album and diary to me. I don’t really even care who follows it. I just can’t imagine my kids looking back and only seeing loads of images of me drinking and partying.

What does that really tell them about where I spent my time and energy? What does that encourage them to do?

I guess I just see things differently because most of my childhood was spent sitting in cars waiting to leave some drunk’s house or playing pool with grown men while my dad was the life of the party at some bar. I guess it tainted me from seeing the fun others seem to have because I’d have much rather been running around with kids my age and having him read to me at night before bed. Shoot, it would have been cool to just have him in the house, in case I had a bad dream.

Maybe I’m the only one with this issue. Maybe I just couldn’t balance drinking and adulting. Maybe I just had a crappy childhood and others don’t feel me. Maybe I’m the only one that when drinking I was less able to focus, less patient with others, less willing to care about the people around me, most focused on whatever I wanted to do. The most destructive time period in my life that resulted in bankruptcy, many situations leading to a broken heart, and tons of broken friendships was when I drank. I drank myself so comfortably I landed a job at a bar where I could drink for free. One day I had a 4.0 in college and the next I was in jail trying to take myself back through the events the night before. Pretty sure if I was sober I might not have ended up there. Pretty sure if I was sober I might have had better judgment on who I hung around too.

Maybe I am the only one that socially drinking consumed me to a point I didn’t realize I was going broke and skipped a decade of life that I could have given to charity, saved for my kids to have a better life, finished my degree, and helped those less fortunate.

Or … maybe God gave me insight and an urge to speak to something many don’t even know they struggle with.

I’m not judging you, by all means have a good time.

But every once in a while do a self-eval. Are you drinking more than you teach your kids how to cook or play a game? Are you spending more time with friends than you do your loved ones? How many people actually keep track of what they spend going out and drinking?

Do you have more memories with your boys or your girls than you do with your babies?

If so, maybe you can learn from me. I do know I’ve interviewed with many people and I can speak for many kids that don’t know how to tell you to put down your bottle and take them to a park. It’s better to leave it alone than to convince yourself you can have both worlds. One day you will look back and wonder where the time went. And how did your kids grow up so fast? And one day your kid might look back at you and say actually I waited forever for you to come play but all you wanted to do was drink.

Facebook.com/silenceunchained

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