Love Yourself

It’s been a long time since I’ve shared a blog. But I am so sick of the things men and other women say to influence us to hate/change things about ourselves. I’m not complaining without a plan to change it either!! I intend to live every day demanding respect and acting out of self-love. This is for every woman everywhere that was ever told she wasn’t good enough.

I’m sure men could say women do it to themselves or we abuse them too.  But this blog is for my fellow women as we are constantly treated like we are worth nothing more than a pleasurable object to look at and be won. And unfortunately many of us have behaved in ways that we believe it.

We are encouraged to exercise in ways that make our bodies mimick what men claim to deem as “sexy.”  We wear clothes that accentuate “what is sexy.” We take up hobbies to create the illusion that we give a damn how much you fantasize about us when we’re not with you. And WE NEED TO STOP. Ladies if he doesn’t love you as you are you can guarantee he will replace you with someone he thinks is “better.” You learning a special dance, or enhancing your cheek bones will never keep a man that didn’t love the woman he first woke up to.

If you love makeup wear it. But don’t do it because you ever feel you have to. If you love exotic dance do it, but never subject yourself to feel it’s the only way you can have a man’s attention and likes online.
I’ve had men that were very close to me tell me to get plastic surgery. That they would even pay for it! “I could be famous if I just tweaked a few things!” Famous for what? So I can tote you around and you can say that you know me?

I’m often in a public eye so I guess I’m forced to be around people who feel a need to alter my look. Men and women have ridiculed my hips, my chest, my waist, my thighs, my butt, my nose, my lips, my hair!  Can I just be me? I’ve done my best to ignore it for years. But it’s gone too far! That’s why I stopped modeling. Who is anyone to tell me I’m too wide for your camera?  Too big for your runway? Too ethnic for your clothing line?  I didn’t need you to make it this far and I won’t need you to continue!

Social media sites and celebrity worship do not help. People like Kim Kardashian and Nicki Minaj are what many of us use as role models and idols. Two women that have altered so much of their appearance and share very little of what their inner self is like. And we look up to them?!

We need to look at women of the world who don’t care about fame but love themselves unequivocally. We need to celebrate the CEO queens who don’t care about a big screen! The home-making mom whose kids stay on honor roll, excel in sports, and compete nationally for arts so she doesn’t have time to shop for the cutest shoes or learn how to twerk.

This blog was inspired by a man I trusted for many years who recently told me I’ve let myself go. Let myself go? While building a real estate business, reading dozens of books to grow my mind, attending school, maintaining homeownership, all while working out when I can but I’ve let myself go? I know I’m not alone.  Women are made fun of and picked apart to the bone daily.
I just voice the bullshit because it has to stop somewhere!

Sure we can say just ignore it act like we don’t care and let it drive us to be stronger. “It’s their own insecurity not yours.”

But we do care! WORDS HURT ! They leave unrepairable damage and lifelong scars. Especially when it comes from people we trust. They cause us to look two and three times in the mirror and question our ability to self-love and appreciate our God given gifts. They cause us to stay places we are mistreated because we condition ourselves to believe it’s all we are worth. This has been a year of detoxification for me. I had NO idea how many friends, family members, and even coworkers in my life that abused me with their words and thoughts of who I should be.

I tell you now and forever BREAK THE CYCLE!!!

Abuse is not just swinging someone across a room. It’s neglect. It’s ignoring someone you claim to love. It’s telling someone not to wear a certain swimsuit that they happen to adore. It’s gently saying you look better when you wear makeup. It’s manipulating your significant other through finances or any other means of control.

Anytime you act in ill intent toward another being IT IS ABUSE!
And so many of us put up with it because we’re told it’s just a joke and not that big of a deal!

So many of us turn the other cheek because “he’s just talking out of his ego” or “that’s just how they were raised.”


They don’t respect us because we don’t MAKE them! Stop victimizing yourself and take a stand!
I really wish some people would get just what they deserve. The ass whooping of a lifetime. But they won’t so don’t stand for it. Get away from any and everyone who does not treat you like you want to be treated.
I know that’s not Christ-like of me to say someone should get what they deserve. The Bible teaches us do unto others as YOU WOULD HAVE them do unto you. Not as they treat you. (Luke 6:31)
But after having a gun held to my head by someone who didn’t approve what I do and my face mashed in by someone who told me I look sexier with bigger lips I have very little tolerance for anything or anyone anymore.

Yes me, a woman who exemplifies strength and confidence to others. A woman that many people rely on to say what others won’t and do what others fear. I have been through hell and back. None of us are exempt from what we allow. And sadly I know many women who have been through and still go through worse. I ask you to FREE YOURSELF. LOVE YOURSELF.
I really am tired of hearing someone doesn’t like my hair, the fact I wear too much makeup, comment when I gain or lose too much weight, don’t approve of how much I work, or make side remarks about the fact I’m 28 not married and do not have kids. “What’s wrong with me?” ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

We all have our own creative minds. We all have our own style! We all have our own timeline.

I don’t seek to be anyone but me!

Keep what you think about me or what you think I should be doing to yourself!  And if you say it to me you likely will be removed from around me. I’ve seen where someone else’s opinion can lead. But guess what? I love me. All of me! You should love you as well!

If you don’t know what love is, The Bible spells it out for you. Call me crazy but when I was being beaten in my own home I pulled up this verse and read it daily to remind myself love would never hurt me.

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” (‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13‬:‭4-7‬ NLT)

Ladies you don’t have to take anyone’s abuse or idea of who you should be. You were made to be you. And there is someone out there that will love you for you!  So be the best you that you can be! All else will fall in place.
#enough #stopabuse #raiseawareness #SilenceUnchained

Copyright © 2016 Silence Unchained. All rights reserved

Published by Cat from the Ville

Writing kept me alive. Sharing makes it worth seeing another day. Site has been under construction for several years. Heck, my life has been but I figure if one person can gain something from me then it's all worth it in the end. :0) Be blessed. Enjoy. Matthew 7:7

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