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What Will I Teach My Kids?

What will I teach my kids

About the man in blue?

Will I tell them to fear for their life?

Like the child I was, used to do?

Will I warn them to hide under the bed

When cops come to the door?

Will I put their hands behind their head

and drop them to the floor?

Will I say, “Son take off your hoodie

When your rights are being read?”

Will my girls grow up, half of them privileged?

The other doomed for dead?

A broken system with quotas to obtain.

Tell me how it can change.

We’re all a number in a lottery of shame.

Just a new face with the same tainted name.

Grandpa killed two men, broad daylight.

Pops stabbed in the heart times two.

These men knew how to put up a fight.

I too, remember fleeing the men in blue.

His angry stick swung again and again.

Blood spray painted the streets

Pops laid out with a crooked grin.

Cops and robbers was not a game to me.

Explain privilege to a child

With her dad’s blood on her face.

Is it something I can turn back in?

I’d love to just have a safe space.

My eyes burning from the mase.

I should have known at 8 to stand down

Front page of the news.

Laughing stock of the town.

So what will I tell my kids?

Should I pretend my trauma wasn’t real?

Do I prepare them for the worst?

What age should they learn Emmet Till?

What about Freddie Gray?

My son has the same last name.

Would they treat him this vile way?

These are the thoughts inside my brain.

My girls living in a world,

Where curls won’t hold a perfect strand.

Beautiful and bright can’t save them

From a possible fate like Sandra Bland.

I’ve been cuffed up a few times.

Ceiling stars and silver bars to the sky.

I’ve had coffee with caring cops.

And sued the devil from groping my thigh.

My poems mimic sidewalk dreams

that echo through different wavelengths.

Don’t tell me we’re not on the same team.

I vibrate higher than average see.

My blended babies

Don’t fit technicolor types.

We will teach them against classism

And steer clear from black magic and wicked white.

Black America being shot at.

People feeling guilt from being White.

How do we stand in solidarity?

When we let hatred fuel this fight.

Good and bad in all things.

Whether Black, Tan, White or Blue…

This world has no answer for us.

So LOVE must be our only point of view.

* Rest In Peace George Floyd and the many others who have been victimized by hate crimes and police brutality. 🙏

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Virginia – Right to Bear Arms, What About His Bare Hands?

It is unfortunate we live in a world where we need to protect ourselves but we do. As a Domestic Violence Survivor and owner of an organization created to help victims overcome their greatest fears from abuse and addiction (SilenceUnchained.com) I am actually here to tell you why I am in support of the sanctuaries being established to protect 2A.

Let’s start with the reasons I have been told I should be in favor of gun reform:

  • I was an eight year old witness to my father beaten with a gun and night stick.
  • I advocate for the safety and lives of all violence survivors.
  • I have friends who have been shot by stray bullets in a gun fight.
  • I advocate for raising suicide prevention awareness. (MitchellHashFoundation.com)
  • I’ve been held by gunpoint twice. Once by a mentally ill former partner. Once while driving for Uber.
  • I was present at A12 in Charlottesville protest for BLM (Black Lives Matter)

“Fear is nothing more than our own reality magnified through the lens of our worst nightmare. “

-bCat

The featured image is a metaphoric art piece drawn in 2001 by a troubled teen.
While some chose to view things through rose colored glasses, a young high school girl saw society from a mosaic stained hourglass. Far from sheltered and wide awake to a dark reality, she knew there was only a limited time to reach the world. If you look closely, you will notice a distinctive image within the pupil of the eye. It is a pointed gun. The gun was a representation of facing fears that lie ahead. This troubled teen was me. I suffered from PTSD. As an eight year old, I watched my father look down the barrel of a gun at my cheer practice. Headlined in our local paper it was difficult to live in a pretend world when everything as I knew it had turned upside down and I was living my worst nightmare.

“A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

Second Amendment – US Constitution

Have you ever met a biker? Did you notice how respectful they were to their bike? They laid it down gently. And picked it up with care. I want you to imagine a gun like a motorcycle. Good people are not the ones misusing these guns. Yes we all know unfortunate accidents do happen. But if you notice a biker doesn’t let just anyone ride. They don’t let just anyone see or use their pride and joy. Most gun owners are the same. A gun is a tool that can be used as a weapon. You are more likely to get hit by a drunk driver, than you are to get shot by a gun.

If you’re not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing.”

-Malcolm x

Ever since I went public with my survivor-ship from domestic violence, people have looked to me to be a voice for that community. I participated in a hypnosis therapy that helped me to remove the gun to my head from my subconscious. The fear of a gun was very real to me. This made me a perfect candidate to speak against guns. Years removed from my own trauma, I look at things with a different set of eyes. I understand not everyone will see things the way I do. I also know that my former partner did have an illegal gun. He did hold it to my head. But when he tried to take my life, it was with his bare hands. I can’t speak to every situation, but this wasn’t a gun problem. This was a mental disturbance fed by an emotional fear. And no law was going to solve it.

“Firearms are used more than 80 times more often to protect the lives of honest citizens than to take lives.”

https://gunowners.org/

A close friend of mine is in an active self-defense case as we speak. His home was broken into by two men armed with weapons. Read that again! His home was broken into and he is being charged with 2nd degree murder in the state of Virginia. The gun he used saved his life and the child there at the time. It is unfortunate for the life that was lost. But please understand this is a brief explanation of what could happen to anyone.

“200,000 TIMES A YEAR, WOMEN USE A GUN TO DEFEND AGAINST SEXUAL ABUSE.”

AmericanGunFacts.com

As a female Domestic Violence survivor this really opened my eyes. How many times could I have stopped my assailant if I had my own protection? I’ll never know. I just have to move forward and teach others the significance of self-defense. I have to use my testimony as a reminder that a woman can take back her power. A woman may not be able to predict an attack but she can learn self defense and reduce her chances of being harmed from the attack.

“In Chicago, 2,526 people have been shot this year.”

– Chicago Tribune

I am thankful this number is declining. However you mean to tell me in a city where guns are not permitted unless purchased and registered before 1982, and they have only decreased the reported crime rate by less than one person a day? There are still 5 people a day involved in a gun crime there. I understand nothing happens overnight but wouldn’t you think we would see a bigger change in their local crime rate?

The people we are threatening with these gun laws are NOT the people in the streets of Chicago where guns have been outlawed and gun violence is still prevalent. No. The people that are affected by these laws are the local Mom and Pop shops that defend their own restaurant from being taken over by thieves. They are Pastors of churches who rely on armed elders to protect their congregation in the event of a mass shooting. They are the owners of local shooting ranges and self-defense institutes. They are the parents of children who attend local schools and face fear every time their child gets on that school bus. I am all for making sure that people are responsible with their guns. I am not fully against background checks keeping guns out of the hands of people who are a danger to society. I am however not going to ever vote for gun confiscation and I believe these laws leave too many doors open heading in that direction.

   I have taken the time to hear many different perspectives regarding guns and violence. The misconceived perception is that these words go hand in hand. The truth is, these words are not synonymous terms.

850 people have been shot and killed by police in 2019

https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2019/national/police-shootings-2019/

Unfortunately I have not had the best experience with police officers. When I was a child, not only did I watch my unarmed father take a traumatic beating, there was another time my unarmed family member was taken in cuffs without a search warrant. I remember asking the man with a badge for a search warrant, he basically pushed me out of the way and proceeded to complete his task. This caused me to grow up not trusting the man in the blue. Perhaps that family member deserved to be arrested, but what happened to due process?
Contrary to what you might think, I have grown to meet many respectable people in law enforcement. And here recently I have interviewed several officers who have told me they are in favor of our counties protecting themselves within sanctuary. They understand they cannot always be available.
I also know if you don’t stand and speak in times such as this when your county is fighting over its country’s rights you discredit the significance of our first amendment.

I would argue and say that the Second Amendment is the most valuable one because it is the only amendment that ensures the other ones.

– Veteran and Talk Show Host, Graham Allen

In 2017 I had someone take false accusations against me. There I was in the sheriff’s office signing for my own arrest and until all accusations were clear I could not possess a firearm. Mind you I already had an EPO against this person. However, I was instructed to turn in anything I had while they investigated me. Talk about innocent before proven guilty. That is what the Virginia law did for me. The deputy himself looked at me and said,

“I know good and well what is happening to you, all I can tell you is if they come to your home, wait til they are inside to protect yourself. Do not do anything in the street.”

This drastically changed the safety I felt in the hands of the law.

https://lis.virginia.gov/cgi-bin/legp604.exe?201+sum+SB16

https://lis.virginia.gov/cgi-bin/legp604.exe?201+sum+SB18

https://lis.virginia.gov/cgi-bin/legp604.exe?201+sum+SB64

Above are the links to the proposed 2020 SB session. I encourage people to do their own research.

I have researched the Constitution. I have taken hours to read through these proposed laws. I shared a few stories of things I have personally discovered just to give you some background of my perspective. I encourage you to talk to reason with others not just argue and learn about the other side. You may be like me and spend 25 years of your life fighting against a gun to realize that fearing an inanimate object is ludicrous. Are there bad people in the world? Absolutely. Which is exactly why the good behaving citizens should not have their rights tampered with when they are more likely to be present in a mass situation than anyone in uniform.

I hope this helps. I really do just seek to understand and then teach to help others understand. There is much more to this than people standing outside wanting to wave their guns in pride. This is truly about our neighbors’ rights and our protection. If you are reading statistics and see that domestic violence is attributed to gun violence please keep in mind people like me. It is not fair to count us out. I am not even included in that report because 2 out of every 4 never report their attack. Statistics cannot always solve a puzzle and laws do not always solve a crime.

Thank you.

-CatCares@SilenceUnchained.com

If you enjoyed reading my blog, please follow me and share this link with your friends.

Charlottesville, VA – A12

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Christians were not born again to abort their own kin.

I keep trying to wrap my head around Christians justifying abortion.

I get why nonbelievers vote for choice.

That’s not even my conversation. I pray for that group to find their own peace but I have no interest whatsoever in riding to battle on a dead horse.

However, GP-God’s People, my brother, my sister it just is so incredibly beyond my level of understanding.

No we are not perfect.

Of course we all sin, fall, and make mistakes. I get all of that. Yes a sin is a sin and the judgment will be the same in our father’s eyes but that doesn’t make the children’s lives of any less value.

The argument of it is dead already, well if that were true you wouldn’t be in an abortion clinic, you’d be in an emergency or L&D room being induced, delivering an unfortunate cause of still birth. Yes, it would be a horrible pain that I hate to see anyone go through. Many women in the Bible had to endure that hardship and heartache. But God blessed them later with another child. If you believe in God like I know many of you do, then you know He’s got your front, back, and side in EVERY battle you go through.

God doesn’t stop loving you just because you have a baby with the wrong person or you don’t finish school. God doesn’t stop hearing your prayers because you impulsively married the wrong man. You got divorced and the father was an addict who often abused you? Yea I almost married that guy too. He was going to kill me if I didn’t abort my baby. We had a horrific physical fight. But I made up in my mind I would die before I’d let anyone decide my child’s fate. I ended up miscarrying. It was unfortunate but God brought me past that pain and taught me how to love all over again. Now I have a beautiful healthy son and two bonus daughters.

God doesn’t say to hell with this one they are a lost cause. So why would we? Because some doctor thought it would be a good idea to give women a choice of motherhood? Look as a Christian our body does not belong to us. That’s why we face so much turmoil because of the crap we drag our own temple through. Our body is a vessel that God uses to bear another breathing living being. You don’t choose having a baby anymore than you choose waking up the next day. It’s God’s gift to you. A non-Christ-believer simply can’t understand that, it’s why they fight so hard to defy our core beliefs.

A lot of people are angry because they are hurt. They are disappointed with their own moral compass.

But you can’t look at them and decide your fate either. You can only remind yourself as a Christian you’ve been born again and thank God our savior doesn’t ever choose to abort us.

Look I am not judging you. I am calling you out. I’m asking you to reconsider. I’m begging you to not think of yourself, don’t think of your non-Christian friend that doesn’t see sin or life as you do. Don’t think of a #shoutyourabortion campaign as something of comfort. It’s like heroine for an addict on a day where he runs out of change. A literal design by demons to confuse love with hate and gratitude with guilt. God is not the author of confusion my brethren! So think again!

Think of Jesus and how he held ALL the children in his hands.

Some were too poor to feed themselves but he gave them bread.

Some were orphans and he introduced them to his own father for protection.

Some were too rich to fathom being loved for free but he showed them intangible peace.

Some were sick and it seems so unfair but in his arms he made them well.

Some were dead. He laid his hands on them and brought them BACK TO LIFE!

See our God doesn’t ask us to sacrifice our children for selfish success. He is in the miracle business and if you’re a believer then you don’t have to do anything but BELIEVE!

People that don’t know me and the journey God brought me from think I just don’t care. I care much more than anyone could imagine or handle. It’s 5am and what am i doing as my miracle baby sleeps next to me? I’m writing to you. I care so much that even though many of you won’t listen to me now, I’ll still be here when you call me from that clinic. – CatCares@SilenceUnchained.com

Even if you delete me for flooding your newsfeed, you may mock me on your own time, you probably think I’m one radical delusional woman to stand against the freedom of choice. That’s fine too. I’m not anti-choice! I’m pro-voice! And that baby has a story they would love to tell you!

I’m going to pray the world makes the right decision. And I’ll let God guide you as to what is right for you. If ever you need me to hold your hand back to a safe space I’ll do that too. But I don’t want to see ANY WOMAN ever have to overcome that pain.

Don’t look at me to be perfect or think I have all the answers because I don’t. You can point the finger and show me all my own sins. I’ll put them right in the forefront for you to take your pick of which one you want to tear into first. I’m not condemning you to hell. And believe me I know those babies are in heaven so that’s not my concern.

You can blast me on social media for being a hypocrite. You can tell me I’m hateful, regressive to a progressing society and foolish. But this society is progressing into the most confusion it has ever seen. People don’t even want to identify with the very body they were born into. But that’s for another topic, another day. You can do whatever you so feel led to do.

I know when I lay my head down at night if I can save one woman from aborting her future baby then in my mind, God just used me to grow a whole village for him. So imagine what he can do with a nation.

Face it Mamas. We don’t raise these babies on our own, so we should never let the enemy or anyone else make us feel so alone that we give up the fight for that baby to have a better chance than we did.

A good friend comforted me when I was getting ready to deliver my first born.

She said, “your body was made for this, it’s going to deliver your baby whether you think you’re ready or not. It’s your mind you have to convince.”

I’m not really sure of her belief background but she has such a beautiful soul with a strong will and God used her to pop my baby out that week, healthy and strong. I kept repeating that to myself over and over again as I experienced and overcame the scariest moment of my life. Not because of the pain but because what if I screw something up? What if I’m not a good Mom? What if my past comes to haunt me and I can’t give my kid all the things they need?

Those same insecurities raced through my brain trying to cloud my mind from hearing God’s voice. But I listened to the army God surrounded me with instead.

That was my choice. And I thank God I made it in his name.

People call me negative but there is nothing more dark than comforting someone as they do something they will regret for the rest of their lives just because in that moment they think it’s the right thing to do. And you think you’re being a good friend.

If you hear me at all, please do your research, fact check, do what you got to do.

But most importantly remember with all the degrees in the world we will never understand it all and in that moment, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil. Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones.”

Proverbs 3:5-8 NLT

We should not be fighting on two different sides of a battle when we serve the same loving, caring, protecting, and forgiving God.

Sincerely,

A once very broken woman that Jesus still wanted to hold. And because of his arms alone I know in my heart, no baby is worth letting go.

Say NO to Mandatory Vaccinations!

Isn’t it ironic how we can say the government should not be able to tell a woman what to do with her body regarding a growing unborn human being and child? Your child is referred to as a fetus all the way up to 40 weeks. I don’t know about you but I didn’t carry a fetus. I conceived a child and for 40 weeks he was protected and dependent upon my womb for his survival. He didn’t need vaccinations to be birthed. Then he was born and is still dependent upon my care for his survival today. I believe it should be solely his parents’ decision if he is vaccinated now or not. 
 
Isn’t it ironic we stand and protest for the rights to have a sex change? If you are born a man, but identify as a woman, people believe you should be able to identify and physically alter your body without discourse from the government on your identity. They call it bodily autonomy. 
“Bodily autonomy is defined as the right to self governance over one’s own body without external influence or coercion. It is generally considered to be a fundamental human right.” – sexinfo.soc.ucsb.edu

And yet the people fighting for bodily autonomy to avoid ever being forced into vaccinations, are mocked and treated like they are crazy for protecting their children and themselves from foreign objects being injected into their body. They are excommunicated in group outings, set aside in hospitals as lesser significant and labeled “defiant.” They are looked down on by friends and even told their children are not allowed around other kids for fear of non-existent diseases in that child from spreading. Who is really radical? 

Right now we still have religious exempt forms if you do not want to partake in vaccinations. However when it comes to certain day cares, schools, employers, and organizations you are treated like a raging lunatic for wanting to choose what is best and safe for your own child or self. You are treated with negligence when you question a Nurse about what she is about to inject into your child. My son at six months old, got the recommended vaccination and his leg was swollen for over a month. No one would tell me what happened. They said it was unlikely related. It was the exact spot of his vaccination. Thankfully nothing worse came of it. If you refuse or ask questions they put you in a waiting room for what seems like hours and treat other patients as a means to avoid answering your “ignorance.” It is as if the only people who know what is safe and healthy for you, are the people who have a degree in telling you why you need to vaccinate.  No one seems able to get a degree on telling you why you should not.

How far will we let this go? Will our travel be controlled based on our updated vaccinations like an animal without a Rabies shot? Will we no longer be able to enter certain buildings? Will we allow this government to shake us with fear so bad they inject us with substances that could actually weaken our God-given immune systems? Will we be so desperate and afraid of COVID-19 we volunteer for RFID chips and ID2020? If you don’t know what I am talking about, reference: Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. 

Are we truly as a society this hypocritical? It is okay to take an unborn child’s life because of bodily autonomy. Many want you to believe it is not okay however to choose, for said child once born, if they have vaccinations or not. We have some states fighting to remove religious exemptions for vaccinations. What is next? The right to religion altogether? Just this January, a bill was almost brought to pass in NJ for banning all religious exemptions. Then COVID-19 happened. I’ll let you decide if there is any correlation. You don’t have to agree. Just look at other countries. “You can vote your way into Socialism, but you will have to fight your way out.” – Unknown 

I couldn’t find a petition for my state (Virginia). I know it is considered a conspiracy for vaccines to ever truly be mandated. However, due to COVID-19, we have never been so close to that reality as we are right now. Over ten countries in Europe currently mandate vaccination. Are we next? You tell me. Your signature on this petition is to let the powers that be, know NOW and FOREVER that vaccinations being mandated in the United States for any reason is against bodily autonomy. Banning us and refusing to allow us to speak out is an act of censorship and a violation of the U.S Constitutional Right to freedom of speech. If we are so wrong to stand up why do they fight so hard to silence a false narrative? Makes you think. Watch VAXXED.com VERY EYE-OPENING. 

This is not a matter of if vaccines are right or wrong. This is not a matter of what is safe. This is a matter of being in control of your own body.

If you choose to vaccinate, good for you. But don’t let someone else determine what is right for you or your child. And don’t go around blaming the “anti-vaxxers” if your kid or you get sick. Odds are, they are doing just fine. They have built up organic immunity.  Again I am not against the choice of a vaccinating. I AM AGAINST someone else choosing it for me or my children. We cannot even verify if the cure for these diseases may come from the origin of the cause. Don’t be fooled or feared into something you don’t believe in. 
“Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.” – Matthew 7:15 

#SilenceUnchained

“The future belongs to those who prepare for it today.” – Malcolm X 

Dear Enabler

I feel for the time you accept you were not enough.

It’s so hard to think someone you love

Would want to give up.

You spend your entire life cleaning their mess.

Just to feel like you’re dreaming

Your way out of stress.

You will give anything for a happy ending

And your loved one doesn’t even know who they were from the beginning.

Perhaps if you find the perfect words to say, they would listen.

Perhaps if you go to that special place they would pay attention.

They cry no one understands but everyone hurts when they hurt.

The dark cloud that hovers them haunts their fears like a box in the dirt.

It is so hard to witness day after day,

a person turn to a substance instead of trying to pray.

If only they could love you so much they want to seek help.

If only they would go to church. If only your love was something they felt.

Don’t be so hard on yourself.

They hardly even know the cards they were dealt.

“They are such a good person and have a great heart.”

Is that why they don’t even realize how long you’ve been apart?

You live in a constant wonderland waiting for them to arrive.

Fantasizing that day they say “I’ll give rehab a try.”

You’re so hopeful about tomorrow you don’t recognize today.

They can’t even stand on their own, so you carry them to make them stay.

They have stolen from you, lied, cheated, and abused.

And you forgive them again to leave your heart open for use.

A drug is their prayer. A drink is their muse.

It is time for you to stop letting their addiction choose.

You want to walk away, you are so tired of the lies.

Your person keeps deserting but you never leave their side.

You have every excuse you could possibly use.

But one thought you still seem to refuse.

So many unresolved answers. So many unturned leaves.

While you’re dying to fix them, have you ever asked “what about me?”

Why don’t you love yourself to want more than this?

Why do you let another determine how you define happiness?

I know it is hard. Definitely not fun.

But it is time to say your job is done.

You can’t save them. They must want to be free.

So until that day comes, let go. Let God. And let them be.

_Silence Unchained

CatCares@SilenceUnchained.com

If my lost loved ones bother to read this, I forgive you. But it’s time to get help.

I’m tired of being quiet while you avoid your own health.

💜

Drinking while Breastfeeding

I read a post about a woman who went viral for publicly posting her drinking alcohol while breastfeeding her child last night. It made me cringe. No I’m not sorry for having gut-wrenching feelings about what someone else does to their baby. I am too #PROLife for that. I thought about it all night. I held my son in my arms while I thought about what difference I might could make in this ridiculous cry for attention from women. I literally had a dream about my role and why these topics take such a toll on my own life. And it hit me.

THIS is what Pro-Choice is doing to our society. We CHOOSE so much we forget to care who we hurt by our choices.

Newsflash world! Just because you seek and find someone to agree with you doesn’t make it anymore right or justified in what is BEST practice.

I haven’t touched alcohol in almost 2 years. Why? One it was just dumb to me to be a growing entrepreneur chasing after the world to spend another single day slowed down or not cognizant. Being dehydrated is nothing to brag about.

 

“The amount of water in the human body ranges from 50-75%. The average adult human body is 50-65% water, averaging around 57-60%. The percentage of water in infants is much higher, typically around 75-78% water, dropping to 65% by one year of age.” – ThoughtCo.com

Regardless what one CAN consume why would you want to dehydrate yourself or risk your child being affected?

I’m no Doctor but it makes ZERO sense to me to fight this all for proving a point to desperate Mothers seeking attention.

I have watched far too many people fall off their track. And I GOT PREGNANT. So I asked myself, not how many beers or glasses of wine can I have while pregnant or breastfeeding?? No! The thought NEVER crossed my mind. Instead I asked myself if I start drinking again after pregnant how will I someday show my child how lovely life is without it? They DESERVE a better example. So regardless what I may have wanted I did what was best for my child just like my Mother did for me. She still doesn’t drink. She taught me to see no value in wasting time or brain cells. No one can tell me it is best for their child if their Mother drinks. Therefore you are making a ‘you’ decision. Call it what it is. Personally I would hate to be under influence in the event my child really needed me. So that night out does NOTHING for me. Moms don’t feel like you HAVE to drink just to have a social life or relax either. There is PLENTY more opportunity for finding peace. I promise you alcohol has never brought me the peace I needed.

As much as the woman in the post of her breastfeeding at a winery wants to prove her child didn’t die or have any negative effects from her Mother’s RISK, I’d like to share with the world if you go without alcohol YOU WONT DIE FROM IT. 🗞 In fact, what that post did not share is you shorten your own life up to 30 years when you DO drink.

So I must ask myself AND encourage others to ask themselves, regardless what I can do or get away with, is it worth it? I can also tell you that you will spend a lot less time proving to yourself or anyone else what you can and can’t manage in life when sober.

Enough people and souls have been lost. Enough have given up. No matter what stat someone shares you can’t bring back years of broken homes and hearts.

I’d give anything to reach the people who matter most to me on this topic, but that won’t happen til they decide they matter. So I’ll leave this for the world to see. If I die soon, I don’t want my people to wake up in the morning wondering how I felt on things that were important to me. I rather they know without a doubt where I stood.

As for me and mine, alcohol is NOT welcome. Which means I’ve had to make some pretty bold moves in the friends category and I’ll never want it back.

Never really paid attention to this verse before. But today it definitely stood out. “Many seek an audience with a ruler, but it is from the Lord that one gets justice.”

Proverbs 29:26

#SilenceUnchained

#AlcoholFree

#ItsaCulture

Quality of Life

I know this might upset a few readers but I’m going to say it anyway. Because well in some index of names (hopefully the Book of Life) I’m pretty confident next to mine are the words ‘bold yet obnoxious.’ 🤷🏻‍♀️

Abortions are human-made. Children are not meant to be human-made, they are made by God. “He breathed life into (hu)man.” I know it’s hard for non-Christians to accept which is why people feel so eager to fight for a ‘choice.’

Guess what else are made by humans? Opioids. Opioids have become an epidemic.

Our human doctors and pharmacists screwed up by the liberty of our government to wrongfully distribute these all over the world to the dying hands of people known as addicts everywhere.

At one time someone made a choice that this was a good idea and people deserved to fight their pain. Most were invented in a lab, not just picked from an opium plant and you better believe our government has the power to add or take away whatever they want to control our population so heavily addicted to them.

Don’t tell me I can’t relate. I have watched my relatives and friends suffer to get these drugs now taken away practically overnight because of the newly served information that for lack of other terms ‘we made a boo-boo.’

These people are often so addicted to these pills, they can’t see the people they are hurting by killing themselves. Believe it or not before these pills, millions of these people lived beautiful lives and one day an unforeseen circumstance changed it all. They are often in so much pain physically or confusion mentally they stop the spiritual ability to care and heal. And sadly a doctor somewhere thought it better for these people to die off from their addiction than to actually be treated for the reason they were in pain. It has taken decades to get our government involved and stop the madness. All you holistic health folks can certainly understand the insanity within our healthcare system. This is why you fight so hard for the medical release of natural medicinal healing.

Our pro-choice (quality of life) folks if your stance remains mirrored to your stance on abortion you must assume these people better off dead too. Their quality of life is so poor why should they have to live a life of suffering? And yet doctors daily go to jail for voluntarily and consciously contributing to the deaths of these people.

The argument is they use our tax dollars like the fosters you often assume pro-life don’t care about. They can’t always care for themselves like the homeless or mentally and physically incompetent you claim we don’t support or focus on. It is very expensive for our government to supply pain meds to these people, so to you and your ideology (quality of life) must think death is a better option for those suffering at the hands of addiction. They sadly often agree with you, which is why millions have just given up.

But our government has even gotten involved now and said we have to change this, people are dying.

Back to abortion. 61 million ended lives later. We know a child (human) is being killed. We don’t perform this ourselves, just like we don’t make our own opioids but we know our end goal is to take away pain (ours) or we wouldn’t go through with the choice. We abort the lives of millions of disabled because well the mother can’t afford their care, emotionally doesn’t want to handle the burden of their disabilities, and oh she slept with a deadbeat sperm donor and now it seems like a bad idea. Let’s abort. There is that 1% that were taken advantage of and yes that must be a difficult decision. God made my decision before I had a chance to when I was raped. But I still feel for those dealing with that issue. I’m thankful the people I have met were people who chose to keep their child. It is because of you I comfortably continue to stand against abortion and not pay attention to media, claiming you have no voice.

What we don’t consider in this fight for quality of life and the right for choice is the choice of the one we are killing. They can’t care for themselves yet. They can’t make decisions yet. They don’t know the strength of the drug designed to kill them. They don’t know their earth daddy is a deadbeat but they can live a prosperous life anyway. They don’t know their mother is unstable but there are another set of hands dying for the chance to love them. They don’t know their story because they never get to tell it. You don’t want them to tell their story, because well that might be a chance for someone to learn about faith.

The person originally provided opioids from a doctor is read a disclaimer, ‘hey this is highly addictive and death is a factor.’

No one reads this to the child at the mercy of the doctor and your choice-given hands.

So my pro-women are you pro-choice on all things for all people or are you pro-convenience? Are you really ignorant enough to claim pro-life people don’t care about the progression of lives for people?

To the men who often comment they have no say, you do. You have say on what our healthcare should provide. And if opioids were only killing men, women would still have the right to speak against the death and pain of their loved ones.

When a domestic trial goes to court and mother and father are deemed unfit or worse are no longer living, they look for the next kinfolk in line. It is YOUR responsibility to speak up for your family. Don’t fight for immigration because of relatives and keep quiet when relatives are being aborted. Don’t fight for the family killed by guns or policeman and ignore the ones killed by abortion.

Don’t be a hypocrite like the millions of Christians you love to hate on and call closed-minded. That isn’t you. You are freedom of choice in all things. So that little roaring voice wanting to come out of the womb should have one too.

Just educate yourself. In 1973 we didn’t know what we know today. There are movies made http://www.unplannedfilm.com. There are people willing to talk. There are alternatives regardless what your neighbor tells you about hungry and homeless people. Abortion is a choice. Should life for someone else be your choice? Or their own?

It’s my right to choose

We are talking about beating hearts, their background should never determine their final destination. • 💜
I have been advised to leave politics out of my profession and home life. I can’t. See, it’s not just politics to me. It’s truth. It’s philosophy. It’s transparency. People have refused to buy homes from me, and others don’t support my cause to fight against domestic violence and bullying… because of my beliefs. So be it. I don’t look to humans for survival, only God.
I know who is in this with me and I appreciate you more than you know. As for anyone else, It is your right to choose who you support. However, it is only my right to serve and treat everyone equally. I live by that. I haven’t gone through hell and back, court rooms, law offices, defense training, and many nights in a prayer room for nothing. God told me, get ready.

Unlike many of you, I don’t consider my life greater than any other. I do believe in the right to choose, but only if everyone is given that right.
When I hold my babies, I don’t think about MY choice. I only see their right to life and it is just as valuable as my own. I didn’t birth all of these children but I am learning how to love them all the same. It takes a little effort and access to a great village to become a dedicated Mom. I don’t have all the answers but I believe in someone who protects beyond my own reach.

As you fight for your right to be #prochoice understand it’s an unfair fight.
While you choose your life, they haven’t even learned about theirs yet.
Spoken as a dv survivor, I fully understand the expression ‘kick them while they are down.’ That’s why I have fought to stand back up and I won’t stop. Many don’t get a chance to fight at all.
Don’t talk to me about one life if you won’t defend them all.
If you don’t know how to help, adopt a child. Show our nation how much we care about children beyond their birth right.

#prolife #promom

#silenceunchained #vcu #cville 9B5AF951-279E-4841-833E-8A2AF9F71CD0.png

Let us not dwell on how she left rather the grace she left behind. 🙏🏼 Rest In Peace, Janet

The world has lost another beautiful being. I don’t know where to begin. I know so many of us have so many questions. As for me, I’m just reflecting the difference she made on my life.

She took a bold chance on hiring me. As a high school graduate, she gave me a position that helped to finance my first home. The home I used to escape someone who was out to take my life. Her last few words to me were she was so proud of me. She always put everyone else first.

She was top of our company, and my direct manager. I took for granted the access I had to her. She pushed me to be stronger, fight harder, stand longer. Other teams got to slack off, but not us. If you were on Janet’s squad you lived, breathed, and slept thinking about Dex. She made it worth it though. I saw places I never would have seen without her. I met people I never would have had access to. I took on positions and learned strategies that became pivotal points in my career as a Marketer and Salesperson. In this day and age, people switch jobs like they switch shoes. Not Janet. Her loyalty was her trademark and her weakness all in one. 🙏🏼💔

She often opened doors I couldn’t see ahead of me, but from the strength of her faith, I kept treading forward. She taught me that while the customer is always right, they don’t always understand. It was our job to lead with faith and never leave in confusion. She lived that philosophy. And here I am not at all confused about where she is today as I know she was saved, but so broken to know she is gone.

God is NOT the author of confusion! 1st Corin 14:33

She would be the first to tell us too!

She never made excuses. And wouldn’t let us either. I’d call into work for the same life she was dealing with and not once did it ever stop her from achieving her own greatness. She called me to the carpet many times. I couldn’t stand her for always being right, but I could never deny she had an undying light on my life.

Losing her has made me realize just how many people she must have touched. She is irreplaceable. A one of kind powerhouse and her great works won’t stop here. God will continue to use her spirit in us all. You could not spend a day with Janet and not be moved by her uplifting energy. She made it her personal goal to make a difference for everyone she met. 💕

May we not dwell on how she left, but stay focused on the impact she had and all the life tips she left behind. She was the epitome of God’s grace. We didn’t deserve her.

I’m sorry another beautiful person has left us. I’m sorry you didn’t get to meet my son. I’m sorry I changed plans all those times you invited me to your church and to have lunch with you. I’m sorry I would get lazy after selling all day when we were only pennies away from our goal. You worked around the clock day and night to make us the best. And I now know just how hard you must have worked at home too. 🙏🏼 May your beautiful spirit now eternally be at a peaceful rest. I can assure that you will never be forgotten. This world is a better place because of you. You were one of my hardest critics but I’m forever changed because of you. Your life didn’t end in vain. You have changed so many of us for the better.

Rest in peace my beautiful, loving, caring, fighting, thriving friend, Janet Butler.

God use me. Help me come up from this loss that I know so many of us feel.

Please give me the strength to carry forward her undying spirit through #SilenceUnchained

That wouldn’t even be a thing without people like her. She believed in me when only a few did.

When you have an intuition about someone struggling with issues they won’t always speak about, PRAY FOR THEM.

Just stop what you are doing right there and pray!

Bad things happen to good people. Good people do bad things. I didn’t know the whole story. I don’t think I could handle it. My heart goes out to her family and friends. May you find peace and comfort in this trying time.

If you know of someone or are struggling with domestic violence, please visit this page http://www.FB.com/SilenceUnchained

You never know who could be reached by your testimony.

If you know of someone or are struggling with suicidal thoughts, please visit this page http://www.MitchellHashFoundation.com

You never know whose life you could save.

We are our brother and sister’s keeper.

I don’t have all the answers. All I know is life is too short. I’ve been too close to both sides of that trigger. We are all just humans attempting to function in a very dysfunctional world. Never be too proud to ask for help.

God shows us grace in ways we will never understand. Janet’s spirit is proof.

#STOPDOMESTICVIOLENCE #RIPJanet #InLovingMemory

Don’t Party Your Kid’s Childhood Away

We all need to pay closer attention to where we spend our time. We all are guilty of too much social media, too much partying, too much fantasy football. Anything to run away from our adulthood reality.

Though there is much to improve, one thing that hits me personally, is people seem to share pic after pic of them at bars and drinking with friends more than I ever see them share pics with their family.

Maybe they just don’t post their family pics. Maybe I’m just biased because of my upbringing.

If you’re a man do you count on your wife/gf/fiancé to hold down the house and kids while you do you with the fellas? If you’re a woman do you enjoy taking more pics of pina coladas and wine glasses than your kid playing with their toys?

What we choose to capture, does matter.

I know it’s just social media but most of the things I post are so my kids and I can look back and see it one day, given this is our generation’s primary way of sharing culture. I don’t know too many folks with Polaroids anymore. Social media is like a digital album and diary to me. I don’t really even care who follows it. I just can’t imagine my kids looking back and only seeing loads of images of me drinking and partying.

What does that really tell them about where I spent my time and energy? What does that encourage them to do?

I guess I just see things differently because most of my childhood was spent sitting in cars waiting to leave some drunk’s house or playing pool with grown men while my dad was the life of the party at some bar. I guess it tainted me from seeing the fun others seem to have because I’d have much rather been running around with kids my age and having him read to me at night before bed. Shoot, it would have been cool to just have him in the house, in case I had a bad dream.

Maybe I’m the only one with this issue. Maybe I just couldn’t balance drinking and adulting. Maybe I just had a crappy childhood and others don’t feel me. Maybe I’m the only one that when drinking I was less able to focus, less patient with others, less willing to care about the people around me, most focused on whatever I wanted to do. The most destructive time period in my life that resulted in bankruptcy, many situations leading to a broken heart, and tons of broken friendships was when I drank. I drank myself so comfortably I landed a job at a bar where I could drink for free. One day I had a 4.0 in college and the next I was in jail trying to take myself back through the events the night before. Pretty sure if I was sober I might not have ended up there. Pretty sure if I was sober I might have had better judgment on who I hung around too.

Maybe I am the only one that socially drinking consumed me to a point I didn’t realize I was going broke and skipped a decade of life that I could have given to charity, saved for my kids to have a better life, finished my degree, and helped those less fortunate.

Or … maybe God gave me insight and an urge to speak to something many don’t even know they struggle with.

I’m not judging you, by all means have a good time.

But every once in a while do a self-eval. Are you drinking more than you teach your kids how to cook or play a game? Are you spending more time with friends than you do your loved ones? How many people actually keep track of what they spend going out and drinking?

Do you have more memories with your boys or your girls than you do with your babies?

If so, maybe you can learn from me. I do know I’ve interviewed with many people and I can speak for many kids that don’t know how to tell you to put down your bottle and take them to a park. It’s better to leave it alone than to convince yourself you can have both worlds. One day you will look back and wonder where the time went. And how did your kids grow up so fast? And one day your kid might look back at you and say actually I waited forever for you to come play but all you wanted to do was drink.

Facebook.com/silenceunchained

Rest In Peace Malcolm X

Today is the death anniversary of Malcolm X.

Before he died, he did what he could to unify all races. He spent his life doing what many are too ashamed, too afraid, too misinformed to do. Whites feared his power. Blacks praised his presence. He stood for the oppressed and fought for the attacked. He lost his life standing against faulty systems, both religious and political. Many wanted to kill him and his own people took him out. He was widely known and even more hated, but he provoked a change no one else could bring. He sacrificed time with his family and taught people to see beyond a ‘white Jesus.’ He stood up to police brutality and white supremacy. Rightfully so. It doesn’t take being Black to appreciate his movement, and what he did for humanity as a whole.

Many white people often mistaken Malcolm X to have been racist and provoke reverse racism. There was a time in his life that could be argued, but it was necessary in that day to awaken the truth he sought, and in the end he found unity so delivering that he was martyred for it. I don’t know everything there is to know about him, but his life is something to celebrate and his death is a day to remember.

Thank you Malcolm X for the difference you made for all of us. Thank you for enlightening and encouraging us to always do our own research and understand the meaning behind every word. Because of him, our children have a better world to live in and I will never take for granted those who fought against true oppression so we could come together today.

Regardless what society or media may tell us, regardless what we personally have had to overcome, we will not teach our children to fear a policeman for their skin color. we will not teach them they are hated and less privileged. We will teach them to love and always look beyond skin tone. We will teach them History and encourage them to seek further than a school will educate. We will teach them they are just as capable as anyone to achieve whatever they want to achieve in life. We will teach them to always stand up for what they believe, even if they must stand alone.

Let us never forget why he stood for his people and what it has done for all of us. ❤

#RIPMalcolmX . #BlackLivesMatter because #AllLivesMatter #BHM

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